Chapter 1: Uninteresting Life

So, my mom died. Not the greatest way to start a tale, but my life isn't fascinating enough for a story to be told, compared to other people I know. It's just been one continuous parade of disappointment. I used to think that I was good at everything I did, but never great. Good at sports, but there was always one or two guys better. Good at writing, but there was still someone who had more profound or more meaningful thoughts that they could put into words. This continued for a while...then I turned 14 and realized that I was just a mediocre talent. That's fine, right? When you lack ability, just work harder than everyone else. So that's what I did. I became a try-hard.

It didn't help; the gaps only grew wider. They kept progressing, and it felt like I was running in place by comparison. Again, that's fine, "Not everyone is destined for great things. Just have fun." That's what I told myself. As long as you enjoy yourself and find yourself some good friends, life can be kind of chill. Not to sound like an ass, but I'm a good-looking guy. I've always been in decent shape. While being just ethnically ambiguous enough to make people curious without being threatening.

I'd personally describe myself as some kind of black. My mom is definitely not black, she's actually pale, so I can only assume I get my color from my pops. I'd swear I was adopted if I didn't have her hair and her eyes. They are too...odd to be considered typical. Her hair was a deep black color, a deeper black than average, and naturally very wavy. Her eyes were a deep shade of purple, almost black. I've been told that you could get lost staring into our eyes, whatever that's supposed to mean. Maybe the only truly unique thing about me.

Being ok to look at and having a certain charm made making friends easy for me. I wouldn't say I was popular, but people did seem to be drawn to me. However, as I aged into my 20s, I realized that these friendships were shallow. Yeah, they'd call for a good time or to hang out, but when anything profound or life-changing happened, I was always the last to know, if I found out at all. I tried to make myself available, useful. Let them know that I'd be there for them if they needed me, but I guess they never did or found someone better. I can't recall ever being someone's best friend. My romantic life wasn't much better. I was always "that guy." I am fun but never boyfriend material. Every romantic relationship I had was casual at best.

It got to the point where I just started to go through the motions. It didn't matter how hard I tried; I wasn't getting anything in return for my efforts. Some people can lean on family members to fill the gap left by having no real friends; I'm not so lucky. I'm an only child, and the single-family I had was my mom. She was estranged from her own family, and my dad died before I was born. She's never been clear on the details, and I tried not to pry. Her talking about it seemed to put her into a depression, so I stopped bringing it up. Up to the moment she died, it had only been us against the world.

For as long as I could remember, she was always sickly. No doctors had any answers, her body seemed perfectly healthy, but she always seemed so weak. The most they could offer was supplements to help with her vitality. They didn't really help much. Even still, she worked her ass off to make sure I had everything I wanted or needed. Though my life has been less than optimal, I've never complained, never been depressed, or at least never showed it to her. There are people a lot worse off than me, and I'm not THAT big of an ass to make believe that my woes are the end of the world. It's just been a long road of disappointment. That has been draining, and then my mom dies. The only connection in this world with some depth is just gone. The only thing substantial fluttered away as if never there. Even with these "friends" and former "lovers" here, all of whom were nice enough to come to the funeral, I still feel alone. Just me standing motionless, surrounded by people who don't honestly know me, while I watched my mother's casket being lowered into a hole in the ground.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Zac. If there's anything you need, let me know. Ok?"

"Yeah, thanks."

I said without actually looking to find who that voice belonged to. It was just some common phrase that we program ourselves to say. I've heard it all day, and I doubt they actually even meant it; I doubt they realize what it actually means.

"I need you to bring my mom back." That is what I wanted to say. I wonder how they would respond to that?

That person wasn't the first to offer such words, and they indeed weren't the last. The parade of endless apologies and comforting words washed over me like a cold shower. I know they all thought they were kind, but I really just wanted them to leave me alone. There was no reason for them to keep reminding me of my loss or for them to be here.

Then finally, mercifully, they all left, and I was truly alone. Left to stare at my mother's tombstone.

Nina Zym

The most remarkable person I knew and an even greater Mother.

D. 2049

"Pfft...hahaha" I couldn't stop myself from laughing. I didn't even know how old my own mother was, and she never told me nor bothered to tell me where my father's grave was. I didn't know a damn thing about my own family. Was even this relationship hollow? Why is the Universe so bent on screwing with me? What the hell am I doing here?

"… I need a drink."

I hopped into my car, and it took me to the nearest bar. Staring out of the window, I wondered what to do with myself next as the sights and sounds of the city all melted into a mundane haze of me not giving a crap. I have a lot of vacation time saved up, so I should use them. The best way to take your mind off things is to shut it off. I made up my mind to go on autopilot for the next couple of weeks. I called in my vacation days before I stepped foot into the bar, and I don't really remember much of what or who I did in the 2 weeks that followed. It was just a blur… a sloppy drunken blur. Sometime towards the end of those 2 weeks, I sobered up just enough to realize I was standing in front of my mother's grave, again.

"What am I even doing here? You're not there, and I'm just some idiot talking to a stone slab. Even if the soul is real, you're gone off with dad, enjoying yourselves. Leaving this lazy piece of shit here...alone, with nothing!!"

I let the scream I was holding in all this time rage out. It was selfish and disgusting, and it made me hate myself more, adding fuel to yell that I could no longer contain. The cry ended, and all the strength I had left my body. As I fell to the ground, the sounds of thunder echoed, and a downpour started. There hadn't been a cloud in the sky just a moment ago, but now there was a storm?

"Yeah, I get it. Screw you too!"

I shouted into the falling heavens as if the Universe could hear or cared what I was saying. I didn't want to move; I stayed there on the ground, broken. I had been numb over the past couple of weeks, and I finally started to feel something again. Even if it was painful, cold, and uncomfortable, it was something. It let me know that this was real, and I needed to move forward. That was the only thing left for me to do. But, move forward to what, and why? No matter how hard I tried to move forward before, I remained in place. Going through the motions gave me the same results as pushing myself to the absolute limits. What was the point of any of this?

"It seems like this world doesn't want me. So what the hell is the point? What am I supposed to do?"

I looked at my mother's grave as if it would answer. I lowered my head as I stared into my hands. To my surprise, a voice responded to my question.

"If the Universe doesn't want you. Then leave it."

My head shot up as I looked for the body that belonged to the voice. There was no one in my immediate area, but that was impossible. In this downpour, for a sound to be that clear, they'd needed to be close by. I stood up and shouted,

"Who's there?! Show yourself!"

There was no response. I chuckled to myself; I must be going crazy from grief. I'm a grown-ass man. I'm too old for this shit. Did I think there were ghosts in the graveyard? I mean, it's possible, probably. I’ve experienced some weird shit, but never ghosts. I stared out into the darkness and rain, wondering if I really was going crazy. I hadn't really had a proper sleep in the past couple of weeks; maybe I was just exhausted.

"I'm really going crazy." I looked up into the downpour and closed my eyes. I'd been here long enough; it was time to go home.

"Are you willing to leave everything behind?" I stopped, looking over my shoulder. A figure stood there in the distance. I could not make out the body or even its shape, but the voice was feminine. It was clear and crisp even in this rain. Only then did I realize they spoke those words directly into my mind. Instinctively, I stepped back. I'd always considered myself a man of reason and logic. While ghosts were still a probability, they were doubtful. But saying that in the current situation, while being alone in a graveyard, didn't help bolster my convictions.

"Who the hell are you?"

I could think of nothing else to say. Running away didn't seem at all possible if this was indeed a ghost. Where would I run to, for that matter? It's a ghost, and I'm in a graveyard.

"The more appropriate question is, ‘what am I?’" Oh hell, I knew it. It's a ghost, a freak' in ghoul. I'm going to die in the damn graveyard. F my life. Even if it was pointless, I wasn't going to stand here anymore! I turned, quickly running towards my car, but nothing was there as I began my escape. I couldn't see anything in the darkness through the screen of raindrops. I heard the voice beaconing me still.

"Why are you running? Are you satisfied with this world, this life?"

"No, but I'd rather stay alive long enough to change it!" I responded without hesitation. Even if I was alone in this world, it didn't matter. If this world didn't want me, screw it! I'd make it deal with me until my body gave in, purely out of spite. The voice let out a chuckle.

"I admire your resolve. I don't offer death; I offer a new beginning." Bullshit! That's such a killer ghost thing to say. A new beginning in the afterlife, maybe. Screw off! I wasn't going to listen to that garbage. Although I couldn't see my car, I knew the general location of where I parked, so I ran there without looking back. It felt like I ran for a few minutes, but it didn't feel like I was making any progress. I stopped only to catch my breath. I was tired, soaking wet, and trembling with fear. There was nothing! There are no signs of my car, other tombstones, or even the sound and sensation of mud being stepped on. There was nothing but darkness and the sound of rain.

The sound of rain? Wait, why was there only sound? I could still hear the rain, but I could no longer see or feel it on my skin. Had my body gone entirely numb, had I gone blind? The fear crept into my bones; my body shivered out of control, my breathing became more labored, my mouth dried. Was I dying, a panic attack, maybe?

"Calm down, Zachary. I have been waiting for you for a long time. I don't want you to die—quite the opposite. I want you to experience what it means to live. To find your true purpose. But you won't find it in this world. It was never meant for you to be here."

I started to laugh, shivering in the cold darkness waiting for death. Perhaps I was expected to ask how it knew my name. Of course, it knew my name, and it was either a ghost or some hallucination of my grief-stricken, liquor-blasted mind.

"What next? You gonna tell me, 'You're a wizard Zacky?'" I asked mockingly. Death was more preferable to this pandering lie. If it were going to kill me, then get it over with.

"A wizard? No, not something so common. What you are, remains to be seen. That is one of many reasons I have been sent to get you." The voice answered with no hint of shame or reservation. It seemed so confident; I had to ask,

"W-wait, are you serious?"

"Come with me and find out. What do you have to lose?"

Bitch, she got me. I'd be lying to say I wasn't curious. If this wasn't some grand hallucination, then I had no way to explain what was happening to me right now. What struck me the hardest was… I didn't have anything to lose. No family, and just superficial friends. No one would miss me if I just disappeared, right? Still, there was something I didn't understand,

"Why me? Why now?"

"I don't know. I was created to guide you, and I was told to come here at this time. What you are and what you are destined for is something for you to discover. You won't find out anything by staying here, though."

Created to guide me? She was… created?! Did she mean that in a religious sense? Oh, please don't be a crazy cult lady. I had to deal with enough crazy shit to last a lifetime by this point. Wait, was she actually even a she? I have yet to see her face, just a blurry outline of what I assumed to be a body. There were so many questions I needed answered. If I wasn't meant to be in this world, why am I here? Was my mother the same as me? If so, then why were we here?

"Take me where I need to be," I whispered, not 100% sure that this was the right decision. If I'm going crazy, I might as well lean hard into it. Closing my eyes, I stretched out my arms. I expected the sweet relief of death at the hand of the… Ghost Ghoul lady? The Crazy Cult Lady? The Mysterious Entity? Let's say the Mysterious Entity. I waited for the Mysterious Entity to relieve me of my mortal coil. At that moment, a wave of warmth rushed through my body. My wet clothes seemed to gradually dry, and I heard the voice once again. This time it wasn't in my mind, but directly in front of me, and a bit muffled.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you to kill me? I guess?" I grimaced at the thought of the mysterious Entity continuing to play with its food.

"Open your eyes; I told you I'm not here to kill you." The voice retorted, clearly annoyed by my antics at this point

I opened my eyes, and in front of me was a body that clearly belonged to a woman, a very fit woman. She wore a deep navy blue and dark purple bodysuit; the colors actually moved and swirled across the fabric like they were alive. I'd never seen anything like it before. Most of the Suit and her head were covered by a hooded asymmetric cardigan That followed the same color scheme. She wore boots that didn’t stray far from her color pallet, and these weren't high heel boots; these were boots for kicking someone's skull in. There was an odd mask on her face. It looked like it was made of gray stone, but it was featureless, just three faint lines that looked like tiny scratches.

The faceless mask, while eerie, could not distract me from what was going on around me. Out from the darkness, I was taken into a plane of transcendental light, a white void. In the distance was a blurry image, so large I could scarcely put it into words.

"Caqstle…"

It is the only thing I could mutter that could closely approximate what I cast my gaze upon. It was a magnificent ethereal silver castle. Was it silver or crystal, could the two merge in concert to form this castle that I could only imagine being in the most absurd of fantasy tales? I could not see its whole structure as it stretched on forever, its structure fading in the haze of the faint light. At that moment, I forgot about the Mysterious figure, everything that had just happened to me, and for a few blissful seconds, even the grief I had suffered up to this moment. I was wide-eyed and stunned, silent.

The person, or the thing that brought me here, was content with letting me stew in my own shock for some time. I finally managed to let out a breath. No longer able to contain my trauma or my excitement, I blurted

"What is this?!"

If heaven was behind those doors, and that was where I was heading, then I could think of worse places to end up. She let out a gentle laugh that was more comforting than I would have thought possible,

"This is your new beginning."

She took the hood off of her head, and crimson wavy locks fell around her face, draping over her shoulders. Removing her mask, she spoke again,

"Welcome, to the Castle of Dreams."

She had crimson eyes to match her hair and a gentle smile. That smile, laugh, and even that voice all struck me with a sense of undeniable familiarity. My head spun, and heaving in my chest picked up again. I really was dead, wasn't I? I know that face, that hair, those eyes. They had different colors, but they were the same. I did all I could to muster a single whimper.

"Mom?"

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